6 September 2011 - Realise2 Strengths Dynamics #18
All around the world, every time at this time of year, new relationships are being formed. It's not the arrival of the World Speed-dating Championships, but instead the start of a new academic term - for children at primary school, adolescents at secondary school, and students at university - not to mention the parents, teachers, lecturers and support staff who also have their own roles to play.
Of course, as is the same in any situation, certain strengths and strengths dynamics will predispose us to act in certain ways, to relish some situations and to cringe in others. If you are strong in Rapport Builder, making new relationships will come easily to you. Further, how this strength links with others in your profile will shape how and why you do this, and the results that you achieve.
For example, combine Rapport Builder with Listener, and you have the combination where the person strikes up the conversation and listens to the reply - really listens, that is. And when we really listen, it's amazing just what we can detect, and how that sensitivity can shape the relationships we share, building a level of intimacy, understanding, and trust that can be hard to break.
Pair Rapport Builder with Curiosity, and you are the person who takes an inquisitive natural interest in others, striking up conversations as your way of finding out more about what is interesting for you, whether this is about them specifically, or maybe about who or what they know. Add Personalisation into this mix, and the Curiosity becomes focused specifically on the individuals themselves. Their likes, interests, strengths, preferences, values, experiences and history will all be grist to your conversational mill.
If you have Rapport Builder with Connector in your profile, you could be just the person for the role of social secretary! People with this strengths dynamic will not only love to get to know new people, they'll also naturally spot the connections of interest between them. "Ah, you're interested in 19th century Japanese tapestry, you should speak to Simeon..." or "Jane, I know just who I would like to introduce you to..." The joy of Rapport Builders with a Connector strengths dynamic is that they always seem to be building their networks of connections, with each strength feeding off the other.
The combination of Rapport Builder and Relationship Deepener can be a more unusual one. Rapport Builders love to get to know new people; Relationship Deepeners love to get to know better the people they already know. Pair these two strengths in your profile, and you are likely to be the sort of person who loves to meet new people, but then quickly sorts and sifts them into two types. First, those with whom you will progress to build a deeper relationship. And second, those who will always remain more situational and superficial.
When Rapport Builder pairs with Unconditionality, you're likely to be the sort of person who meets new people and takes them entirely at their word, accepting them for who and what they are, without question and without pre-judgement. Welcoming people with open arms in this way can be a refreshing endorsement of all that is positive about the human race, but it can also leave you open to disingenuous others taking advantage of your good nature. While it's good to accept people without pre-judgement, ensuring that we retain the perspective of our Judgement strength will protect us against making a wrong move.
So, as you venture out into the new relationships you might make this September, consult your Realise2 Profile to see how your own strengths dynamics might play out in the relationships you have and those that you will form going forward. And finally, in the three-word positive psychology dictum of Chris Peterson, "Other people matter." If we were all to live our lives with that in mind, all of our relationships would be more positive ones.
With best wishes,
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